Christmas Yet to Come
by raccoonsmate4life
Summary: The past few months have threatened to devastate the happy, mostly-peaceful life that she and Deeks have been building together since that December day on the ice rink two years. Things have been rough and there are no promises that the months to come will be much easier, but Kensi is teaching herself to be grateful for what good she does still have in her life.


_This is my Christmas wish for Deeks and Kensi...something I started thinking about after_ Crazy Train.  
 _Usual disclaimer - I own nothing, just playing._

* * *

The small, brightly lit Christmas tree standing in the corner of the cozy sitting area in their hotel suite makes Kensi smile. The small fire in the gas fireplace and the light snow falling outside the window completes the picture perfect scene. She wheels herself over to the window and carefully eases herself out of her chair to look outside. For years, this time of year was one she was happy to get through as unceremoniously as possible. Then two years ago, she had been determined to change that and it's been one of the best decisions she's ever made.

The past few months have threatened to devastate the happy, mostly-peaceful life that she and Deeks have been building together since that December day on the ice rink in Pershing Square. Things have been rough and there are no promises that the months to come will be much easier, but Kensi is teaching herself to be grateful for what good she does still have in her life.

The sound of the luggage cart banging its way through the door to the room signals the arrival of the very best thing she still has.

"Remind me why we have so much stuff for only three nights away?" Deeks is panting a bit as he struggles to maneuver the cart into the room.

Kensi chuckles and turns slowly to face her boyfriend. "Well, _someone_ convinced my doctors and therapists that we should get away for a few days and that we would bring all sorts of equipment for my exercises. Because, God forbid I take a couple of days off from therapy too." She smirks at him as he comes to stand in front of her, and wraps her arms around his waist to steady herself.

Deeks smiles and presses a soft kiss to her forehead. "You've been making so much progress. I didn't want you to lose steam. Plus, _our_ therapy sessions include a relaxing massage from yours truly, so I think you can handle it."

Pulling herself closer, she nuzzles into his chest and inhales deeply. It's true, she has been making good progress in the past few weeks – so much so, that she was allowed to go home just last week. Until that next morning, when she woke up in their bed, in their room, in their house – with Deeks sound asleep right next to her and Monty curled up on the floor, she hadn't realized just how badly she needed to be home.

After a rough start to her physical therapy sessions last month, Kensi has been slowly gaining control of her own body again. Most of the feeling is back in her right leg and while she still relies on the wheelchair to get around a lot of the time, she is able to stand on her own now and is seeing improvement in her ability to voluntarily move her left hand and leg. The movements are limited and can be a bit jerky, but she finally feels hopeful that she won't be stuck in a wheelchair forever.

She and Deeks have also made great strides ever since those first few weeks after her coma. He is learning to recognize when she isn't up for him to be the eternal optimist and to just commiserate with her when she has a rough day about how much this all sucks. And she is figuring out how to share in his relief that she is alive, no matter her physical limitations for the time being.

She finally feels like herself a lot of the time, so when Deeks mentioned that he talked to her team of doctors, nurses and therapists at the hospital about the two of them getting away for a few days, she hesitated for only a second before giving him a silent, grateful nod in agreement. They have so much to celebrate – her homecoming, their anniversary, Christmas – and a little vacation after everything they've been through in the past three months will be the perfect way to do just that.

His choice in location didn't surprise her. Mammoth had sort of become "their" place and it was and easy trip to book at the last minute considering their familiarity with the area. Kensi had been a little worried about the logistics of staying in a cabin – with more stairs and being farther away from the main building of the resort with the restaurants and pool and hot tub – but she should have known that Deeks would think of that too. The one bedroom suite that he booked for them in the hotel is perfect – wheelchair accessible and on the first floor, it will be easy for them to get to the various dining options as well as the gym and indoor pool area.

Despite all of the thought Deeks put in to booking this trip and to making it work for Kensi, part of her can't help but think it was all a bit unnecessary. Eyeing the plush, king-sized bed on the other side of the room, she realizes that she will be perfectly content to stay in that bed with him for three straight days. After all the time she spent in the tiny hospital bed – and Deeks on the tiny, uncomfortable couch – she craves just being close to him and a week's worth of nights at home hasn't even come close to making up for lost time.

Leaning back in his arms to look at him, Kensi silently wonders how easily she could convince him.

"Do you need to sit down?" Deeks's softly spoken question interrupts Kensi's train of thought.

Kensi shakes her head. "Not as long as you've got me."

"I've got you," Deeks smiles and tightens his hold on her before kissing her gently. "I've always got you."

 _Yeah…you do_ , she thinks to herself as she rests her head on his shoulder. In this moment, wrapped up in each other, Deeks's words resonate in her heart as his gentle humming of _I'll Be Home for Christmas_ begins to fill the air, and a sudden calm washes over Kensi. He has her and maybe more importantly, she has him, and that's more than enough.

"Ask me again," she whispers. The request comes out shakier than she meant for it to, especially considering how sure she is of what she wants him to do.

The humming stops and Deeks looks over at the couch and then back at her. "If you need to sit down?"

 _Damnit_. She'd already forgotten that he asked her that just a couple of minutes ago.

"We can go sit on the couch, if you—"

"No…that's not what I—"

Kensi exhales and shifts her gaze to meet his. There are already tears forming in her eyes, which only causes Deeks to look more concerned. Slowly, she reaches her fingers up to brush the hair out of his eyes before leaning forward to press her lips to his. When she pulls back, Deeks wipes a tear from her cheek with his thumb.

"Ask me to marry you."

Deeks stills, his hand still cradling her face, and stares at her.

In the few beats of silence between them, Kensi wonders if she shouldn't have said anything. She doesn't know if he's planned to do something different, or if he'd even planned to propose again anytime soon after she couldn't bring herself to say yes only a few weeks ago.

"I don't have your ring."

Kensi can't help it, she lets out a relieved laugh as another tear trails down her cheek. "I don't care."

"And I probably can't get on one knee and hold you up at the same time." The corners of Deeks's mouth turn up as he smiles at her.

"That doesn't matter either," she assures him. "I don't need the ring, I don't need you down on your knee, and I don't need the beach, or the sunset, or the white horse. I just need you."

They lock eyes and Deeks looks like he's going to shed a few tears too. Keeping his left arm around her waist, helping to support her weight, he reaches for Kensi's left hand with his right and brings it to his lips.

"You've had me for a long time, Kens. I love you and I want us to spend the rest of our lives together."

He lowers her hand and places it over his heart before dropping his own to reach into his back pocket. Kensi can't hide the look of surprise on her face when he holds her ring up between them.

"You might not need it, but I figured you would tell me when you were ready for this and I wanted to be prepared." Deeks winks (kind of) and places his hand holding the ring over hers on his chest. "So, Kensi Marie Blye, will you please marry me?"

This time, far away from the hallway at work and from the hospital where her life got flipped upside down and inside out, Kensi can finally give him the answer he wants to hear and the one she wants to say.

"Yeah," she nods, blinking away tears of happiness, "I'll marry you."


End file.
